"Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'...

how's about cookin' something up" - okay, you all know the rest, I'll stop.

So this post has been a long time coming. You all know I'm a big time foodie, I watch cooking shows religiously... this is nothing new. But there is a "cooking" show on the Food Network that I must speak out about. You might know it as "Semi-Edible Cooking with Barbie." No, that's not it. Oh right - "Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee."

This show is an embarrassment to both the food cooking and eating public. So basically a travesty against humanity. Okay, maybe not that bad, but her food looks AWFUL. Heck, you can't even make half of her recipes without a packet of Spaghetti Sauce Seasoning (I did not even know such a thing existed), or a goodly amount of Whipped Topping. I shudder to think of the amount of preservatives, MSG, trans-fats, and other random junk that gets incorporated into her food due to the 70% pre-packaged ingredients.

Check out these ACTUAL comments/reviews I pulled from the Food Network website - they're for the Smothered Meatloaf she featured on today's Easy Elegance show:

No Way
01/22/2008 at 04:21pm
User: Anonymous User Rating:
I occasionally cook for my meat-eating relatives, but I would never, ever make this. A meatloaf that has been soaking in its own fat and cans of soup for seven hours is unappealing beyond words. And the 46 g of fat and 3298 mg of sodium per serving might actually kill my stepfather. Plus, this recipe saves neither time nor money.

bore me meatloaf
01/21/2008 at 09:03pm
User: dave from ocoee, FL User Rating:
this has to be the worst tasteless meat loaf i have ever had. Very dissappointed with Sandra lee,really cant believe she even has this recipe on her show.it was a waste of $40.00 which is what it cost to make. Hopefully the racoons will eat it.

See, I'm not the only one. Only, I'd never even actually TRY one of her recipes. At least not sober. And speaking of sobriety, what is up with her barrage of hideous cocktail recipes? I like me a stiff drink as much as the next gal - but I will NOT be trying any of these.

Okay, so I know her story... she's an entrepreneur who overcame odds to make it in various industries. She started with those curtain hanging gizmos and moved on to other things... (yes, somehow I actually managed to make it through her Chefography). And I admire her for trying to be the next Martha Stewart. However, her lame and often overbearing set decorations and hideous tablescapes are not cutting it. Heck, I don't even change my purse depending on my outfit - there's no way on EARTH I'm redecorating my kitchen every time I cook to reflect the food theme du jour. She would probably be horrified that here we are in the dead of winter and I still have my autumn harvest tea towel hanging from my oven door. But at least I serve good enough food to my family and friends that they don't need to be distracted by my perfectly coordinated decor and their take-home favors, strewn about the table like a party store explosion. Here's what another blog observed about Ms. Lee:

"This isn't really cooking. It's making crafts. It's edible scrapbooking. "

Amen, fellow blogger.

I realize this makes me come off as a huge food/entertaining snob. Let me address this.

I am not a food snob. I enjoy the occasional pre-packaged food as much as anyone else. I'll be (and have been) the first to admit that sometimes a can of Chef Boyardee or a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese totally hits the spot. And, I'll admit that despite having a fairly refined palate, I am repulsed by olives, capers, mussels, clams, and goat cheese. There I said it. I'm the foodie who won't eat capers or goat cheese. But at least I'm actually conscious of every ingredient that goes into my food, and, under normal circumstances, I won't use a pouch of chemicals for the sake of saving time if it means turning out an inferior meal - and one that plain old isn't good for my family.

And I'm not an entertaining snob either. Sure, I like having a presentable home and possibly some fresh flowers on the table for company - maybe even some napkin rings if you're lucky. But I'm glad my guests don't come expecting to be showered with dumb chatchke gifts when the meal is over.

In the end, Sandra Lee isn't a bad person. And maybe her semi-homemade mentality will help gear some more people into the kitchen to give cooking a try. A springboard of sorts, which frankly is great. It's important to get people cooking, especially our kids - learning a skill that will give back for life rather than relying constantly on pricey and often unhealthy take-out. And if it takes 3 rings of circus decorations in the middle of the dining room table to get your family around it, so be it.

Honestly, I don't care what you all are eating. I just hope that more people will get back on the road to eating together and sharing good times as a family. You might just discover that your time together is the whipped topping on a pleasant dining experience .